Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
