He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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