so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just googled if crying burns calories
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
