Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
