I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
