Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Randomize
