I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Two words: blizzard sex
my god I love twenty year old dicks
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
