i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
