i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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