I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
