I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
