all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
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