I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
