You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
