is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
