I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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