I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
