So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
