No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
