just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
