I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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