I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Randomize
