i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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