my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
