google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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