You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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