If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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