watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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