I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize