areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
