a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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