party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
