Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just pee around me
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
