I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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