he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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