Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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