I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
