nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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