shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
