so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
