she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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