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• (810): View more from Michigan

  none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem

  Fav 6 1231 1758

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.

  Fav 13 3337 870

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

  Fav 22 4394 1771

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet

  Fav 41 5808 1908

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  & he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'

  (636): View more from Missouri

  HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!

  Fav 14 1634 3534

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day

  Fav 3 2835 1087

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard

  Fav 9 1903 3424

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• (516): View more from New York

  Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar

  Fav 6 3211 1062

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.

  Fav 10 485 687

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.

  Fav 2 674 499

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• (310): View more from California

  So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.

  Fav 0 210 159

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.

  Fav 1 215 87

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.

  Fav 1 72 11

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...

  Fav 0 66 12

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?

  Fav 0 38 11

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