great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
