Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
