Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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