And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
