I want to have your abortion
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
being pregnant is like rehab
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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