idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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