So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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