I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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