I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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