Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
