Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
