if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
