You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
